Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A complete disaster -- Tommi

I don't know what happened.... I woke up this morning and everyone was gone. Everyone but Bloomer, Little Erin, and me... Yomi and Morrigan have been doing memory stuff and working through some guilt they both have.

The Black Room is in a state of chaos. It's like there's a storm out there. I look out the window to the Black Room and all I see is darkness. The Circle of Light cannot be seen; it's as though the light has disappeared. There is a strong howling wind. I cannot open the door; I think it's locked.

Little Erin is locked inside the Room of Requirement. That room is designed to keep everyone inside safe. If there is something dangerous in the Black Room, it automatically locks until the danger is gone. It will not allow people inside if they have dangerous intentions either. Thank god Little Erin's walky talky still works; it may be static-y now, but at least I can talk to her.

She told me that Sierra took Ginko and Rachel away for a while and to not tell anyone until people noticed something had gone wrong. She told me that Morrigan left sometime after Yomi remembered the original attack at the playground last Wednesday. Opal has been gone for some time now; she went back to the Figurine Room. Marie-Shiloh has been gone for a while too. We don't know where she went.

It's terrifying. I may be Yomi's protector and the temporary main protector and I may be doing my best, but I'm still only 13 years old. I might have lived more than 13 years, but I am a 13 year old. I am so young trying to take care of a 9 and a 6 year old while living out a 21 year old's life. I know it hasn't been that long since Yomi has gone (she left early this morning)... but I'm worried she won't be back for a while. I'm worried that I'll be the temporary main protector as well as the temporary main... I've been out for nearly 4 days straight and I'm already tiring.

On top of all this, because of some life stuff and Yomi remembering the original attack, the fragment named Anguish is becoming more and more of a full personality. I didn't know about this until a day or so ago... Yomi is still splitting. I thought we were done with that. All of us thought we were done with that. But Yomi is splitting and it's very not good.

-- Tommi

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