Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Tis the Season... of Change -- Grace

The past few weeks have been full of new changes.

Morrigan took my (Grace's) words from the last post to heart and actually solved the major stumbling block she was having, which involved telling her best friend a few things about herself that she thought would change everything... Turns out, her fears were unfounded and things on that front have changed very little, which, in this case, is a very good thing indeed. She has taken great strides toward not hiding herself completely; I am quite proud of her.

We have had little time to work with Shiloh and Marie... Mostly due to the fact that we have been hired on with a job agency and we are now working 50 hours a week at a local factory. It's a major change, especially since we are working 2nd shift (5pm-3:30am). It's hard work, but we've found it very enjoyable. We like our co-workers a lot and the actual tasks are not that difficult, merely repetitive. Our feet are killing us. One of our co-workers said during his first week he felt like there were pieces of glass in his feet, which is pretty accurate. Our counselor is concerned that we're working too much, but we thought it over (and sought out the opinion of our mom) and realized that this is a "genuine adult effort to get ahead in life" (quote from one of our supervisors). One of our main goals is to become independent: buy a car, rent an apartment, pay off student loans, buy stuff we want. This job will allow us to do so, at the cost of not having much free time in the immediate future. Morrigan, Tommi, and I are so excited about what lies ahead of us now that we have a means to gain our independence.

Well, now that I think about it, there hasn't been that many changes, but the ones that have happened seem quite large.

On a different note, I want to mention a few other things. I want to point out that when Erin was first diagnosed with DID, Erin, as a whole, was alone, angry, chaotic, extremely depressed, miserable, and unstable. And now? We have family and friends who genuinely care and love us unapologetically. We have managed to learn to work together in such a way that has created some stability (we are not at all claiming that we are completely stable; we just know that we are more stable now than we have been in a long time). And, what I think is one of the most important things, those of us who are active in living outside, we are happy. We are happy, confident, and unabashedly ourselves. I think that's a miracle if I ever saw one.