Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Who am I? -- Erin (or whomever I happen to be)

I woke up today around 4:30 in the afternoon, which means we got over 14 hours of sleep last night. When I finally got out of bed, I couldn't figure out who I was. I've been trying to figure that out since I've been awake; still no luck.

I know for certain that I am not Grace, as she talked to me a little bit ago. According to her, my form keeps "flickering" so I appear very blurry. She says I'm no one she recognizes, but that it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I could be someone new, or I could just be an accidental mash-up of a lot of people.

I don't think I'm Morrigan, or Tommi, or Naomi, or Ellie, or Yomi, or anyone else that I know the name of. I'm not entirely worried about this right now; I'll be more worried tomorrow if this is still happening. If it is, I fully intend on calling up my counselor and leaving her a voice mail. I'm just glad that this is Labor Day weekend, which means I don't have school on Monday. That gives me one more day to figure this out.

It's pretty confusing, but not frightening. We've lost track of our identities before, and we've always been able to figure it out. I just hope I'm not someone new; that could possibly be a bad thing.

I spent the day (what little of it I was awake) trying to relax and not worry about anything. That was pretty simple, though the weather gave me some worry. There was a really big storm cell that passed through my area. The tornado sirens went off and my parents and I put our cats in carriers or the bathroom. I for one nearly took a nap with my cat in the bathtub. I was pretty comfortable.

I just hope this gets figured out by tomorrow. 

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