Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Siren Call -- Bloomer

I can hear them calling me. I don't know their name. But it's an inexpressable need to return to the world within, to leave, to disappear. I don't want to leave. I want to stay here with Little Erin and Tommi. I want to stay and continue learning at college. But it's so very strong; the call is like pain. I need to leave but I need to stay. I cannot abandon Little Erin as the others did. I can't go. But I'm afraid I can't stay. Im scared. Tommi is doing what he can and the call is barely weakened. It started this afternoon and has been getting stronger. I don't want to leave. I can't leave. I shouldn't leave. Who would do our math? Tommi would fail our anatomy and physiology class. I have so many reasons to stay, but this call is makes them feel insignificant. I don't know what to do. --Bloomer

1 comment:

  1. Because of the way the brain works, it is very possible to out-prioritize the calling. If you feel that the best option is to stay, keep finding reasons. If there is a need on either side that is strong enough, you can use that need to shield yourself from whatever is calling you. Ultimately, it just comes down to keeping yourself busy (and getting a little creative). Whatever you are using has to be at least perceived as a real need, though.

    Please bear in mind that if you choose to go this route, it will only by you time on its own. You will still need to come up with a way to deal with or resist the calling if that is what you choose to do. Even the smallest detail could prove useful.

    I've been in similar situations, so I know what I'm talking about.

    On a similar note, have any of the Alters that are currently MIA mentioned a similar call before going missing?

    Well that's my 20 cents. Until next time.


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