Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

To Sensei -- Morrigan

This is a letter to my ninjitsu sensei in the world called Alter.


I know this letter will never reach you as I am sure you do not exist anymore... least not in the way I remember you. But I hope, where ever you are, that you somehow know what I've become. I hope you see me and you are proud of me.

I reminded myself of you last night. I pissed someone off on purpose; I got up in their face. That alone isn't unusual, I know you know that... but this time, Sensei, this time, it wasn't for me; it was for a friend; it was to help a friend. I hope you are proud of me because I care for someone, honestly care for them.

When you knew me, Sensei, I had lost my heart; it was hidden away deep inside. But I met a group of girls that found it for me, that gave my heart back to me, and who aren't letting me hide it ever again.

Sensei, you used to say to me: What's eating at you? What's poisoning your heart? Sensei, I think I can honestly say my heart isn't being poisoned anymore. I can easily say "I love you" and mean it wholeheartedly. Sensei, I hope you're proud of me. I hope I am the person you wanted me to be.

Sensei, I am strong now. I am not the victim you once knew all those years ago. I am strong and I am brave. I have a cause and I have hope for tomorrow.

I never told you this when I had the chance, Sensei, but thank you for seeing me and for believing in me.

You are my hero.

Morrigan Portalis

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