Read This First
In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.
All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.
If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.
Thank you for visiting!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Domestication -- Morrigan
I have gone from requiring martial arts training to learn control to looking through crochetting patterns with this body's mother. I have gone from being ready for a fight at the drop of a hat to not being able to collect enough anger to do my job.
A friend jokingly said I have gone soft... And it is all too close to home. I talk tough, but my follow through is lacking.
Now I have a strong persecutory alter at my door. He screams and claws on the inside. He causes dizziness and nausea. I feel sick when I eat and nauseous when I don't. I sit in wait, pretending to be waiting out a storm, but really I'm shaking and quaking worried he will never be quiet. What kind of protector am I?
I can't do what needs done. What kind of protector am I?
I am not being strong. What kind of warrior am I?
The warrior is becoming a housewife, and I am terrified.