Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Memories -- Little Erin

A note from Yomi:

February 1, Little Erin asked me if she could come out to write about things that she could remember.

Original spellings and grammar will be kept to retain the feel of a 6-year-old's thoughts. Correct spelling will be in brackets.


When things happen that I do not unterstand [understand] I am told that I will one day when I am old. Some things have happened to me and I do not unterstood [understand] them. Big Erin is old now but she still not unterstand [still does not understand]. Bad things happen to me and Big Erin. Things we forgot or tryed [tried] to forget. Things I am not likeing [liking] to talk about. But sometimes talking about bad thins [things] is good? I am scared when I think about what he did. I think that he will find me and hurt me agan [again]. I am hurting wher [where] no one sees. A person can look for my hurt and they can not see it. It is invizible [invisible]. Why did the man hurt me? Did I make him mad? Did I do something bad? He scared m [me] when he came to bend [behind] me. I love swings. And running. No more now. If I swing he can find me. I can not run fast away from him. He catches me. He holded [holds] me in the durt [dirt]. He hurted [hurt] me in the durts [dirt]. I cried but he not let me go. I cried that hight [night] until I fell sleep. And I cried every night until I forgot. I loved swings and he would find me. He found me a lot. He brout [brought] a diferent [different] man one time. He hurt me less than the First man. They told me to keep it sekret [secret]. No one would believe me they sayed [said]. I cried more but I was queit [quiet]. No one heard my tears. I cried until I forgot. Then I sleped [slept] for long time. Very long, long, long, long, tim [time]. When I wake up Blissy taks [takes] me to clean room. The clean room is bad place. I do not like clean room. I was there for long time. Not as long as I sleeped [slept], but still long time. Then Big Erin finded [found] me and made me my own room away from Blissy. Away from Clean room. I like my room But I am by alone. Mary [Marie] is with im y [in my] room but she does not play. Shilow [Shiloh] does not play. Shilow [Shiloh] is boring. Nere plays with me som [some] times. But Nere do not unterstand [understand] inglehs [English]. I have a hard time talking to Nere. Nere likes to draw and dig. Nere is my good friend. I am done writing.

Little Erin 2-1-1995


The first image is of Little Erin's handwriting. The second is of Yomi's handwriting. Both are shown in order to see the marked difference between the two. To see a larger image of either picture, merely click on the picture itself.

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