all lone -- little ellie erin

tuesday nigt, i heard Sadr callin for Tommi. She was in the Black Room an she was skard of somthin, so Tommi wentd to go help her. They hav both gon away. I can no finds them.

I wakd up the next mornin an they still was not back so I teld my mommy wat happined. She helpd me tell Tommi's teachers that we was not goin to school cuz we was sick. We do hav a cold but sayin we is sik is the easist way to explan wat is happinin. I hav been spendin tim with my frinds who kno bout everyone inside. I makd cookies yestrday an I wentd to Cowboy Church with my frinds. Cowboy Church is a church that has servic in a cow barn an they sing contry type church songs.

Ims goin to a nother frinds house tomorrow. She has lotsa anmals lik horses an chickens an dogs. She has DID too an i somtims play with her little one inside.

Peple keep sayin that Ims verry brav. But i keep tellin peple it is no verry hard wens I hav frinds an famly who knos wat is happinin an can helps me. The hard part is that Ims verry sad an lonly.

I wentd lookin for peple inside yestrday an I finded Rachel an Anguish. Iv been takin care of Rachel, changin her diapars an feedin her. Anguish can no coms out here cuz it would hurt too muchs. So ims the only one who can be outs here for now. I hope older peple com back afore monday cuz we hav school. I can no driv. I can no go to school. I would be so many afraids an skards. Our T says that she knos its gon to be kay ventually. An I kno that is true, but ims still so sad. I am no angry at Tommi an Sadr, but Ims sad that everbody is missin.

I can feels somthin happinin inside but I can no see it. It maks me tird. I relly wonderin wat it is an i wishes that they would be don soon so they can coms bak.


Befors Tommi an Sader leved, we hads som verry verry hapy news! Two thursdays ago my mommy an my daddy meetd with our T an they all talks bout how to helps all us inside bettr. Tommi askd them if we could jus not hide no more an they saids yes. So since the day aftr my birthday, October 6, we officially do not hide.

My mommmy buyed me coloring books an her an Tommi gotted books from the Libry for me to reads. An my mommy an daddy plays with me wen Ims out an tells me they lov me. I get to ackt lik me insted of tryin to ackt oldr. It maks me so verry verry hapy. It maks things easir for usns inside.

Then we startd to relax. I tolds my mommy that i get skards wen we start to relax cuz it means somthin bad is bout to happin inside... an then a few days latr Tommi an Sader go missin. I jus lookd at my mommy an I said, See, this is wat happins wen we relax. She jus tolds me that we gon to have to relax somtim evin if it means bad thins gon to happin cuz ventually bad things will stop happinin. Ims tryin to belive her cuz I knos my mommy dos not lie to me.

that is alls for now. I wills mak sure to tells the blog wen peple com bak.

-- Little Ellie Erin

my birthday -- little ellie erin

today is the day that i was borned. Ims thinkin that it be mor rigt to say that this be the day that the body was borned. Cuz i was no borned like other peple, but october 5 is still my birthday.

this birthday was muchs better than my las one. Wens I stay with Blissy, things were no so nice lik it is now. I know we do no think it is verry nice rigt now cuz of wat all is goin on, but it is still better than wat i used to hav.

today I havs a mommy that lovs me. A daddy that lovs me. My oldest sistr nos I'm in here an she lovs me. I have FRINDS! I hav manys. I do no talks bout them much here cuz i do not no if they is kay with bein on the blog. But I have many frinds who lov me an ask bouts me all the tim. They play with me an we bake cinimimamin rolls an let me eat brown suger. heehee. I hav a frind who is 4 an we color tgether. I hav frinds who is older than Yomi and they play with me too! We playd the game Sorry! las week. I no remembry who winned but it no matter cuz we was havin fun an laffin an smilin an everythin. I liks my lif how it is rigt now.

The way it usd to be with Blissy was no so nice as now. I hads to clean alls the time. No rest. I havs to hear Blissy tells me why Ims such a bad little girl an how everythin was my fault. It was no Riginal Erins fault, it was all mines. She tolds me I was a little demon child who made Riginal Erin go way. So on my birthday she would spank me an tells me I shuld never hav been borns. I kno now that a lots of wat Blissy teached me is verry wrong. Ims still learnin wat is rigt tho. I learnin that it is kay if I needs to take a nap, evin if ims needin to nap out here. It is kay for me to be outs. Ims learnin that Blissy was a mean grown up grouch an i don wan to be like her. Ims wanna be lik me.

I wan to learn to be jus a littl girl gans. Ive forgetted how to play with toy horsies an i needs to learn how gans. I lov to color. I lov to draw. I wan to learn no to be fraids of swings so I can go play on playgrounds gan too. I wan to learn that nobody is gon to hurt me like i hav been hurtd no mor. I wan to learn how to be carful with my heart so I only givs it to peple who will be good to it. I wan to learn how to help peple without gettin hurt. I wan to learn how to do all many things but mos of all I wan to learn to be Little Ellie Erin an nobody else.

Thats wat I wan to do.

-- Little Ellie Erin

Google+ -- Tommi

I'm excited because Google+ has finally opened up a bit more, so I was able to create us an account. This account will be for us to be openly multiple (as opposed to Yomi's Facebook account where we just can't).

You can find us by following this link or by searching for "Morrigan Portalis" (we're using her email address, so it comes up as her name).

I'm excited to meet people as us and to interact on a social networking site without having to hide from all of Yomi's friends who don't know.

-- Tommi

Missns you -- Ellie

Ims missin Niki an my Bes Frind so many tonigt. Wen they leved me I would no slep with the bear Niki gived me that I named after my Bes Frind. But tonigt ims missn them so much an I jus wants to talk to them ganes. So ims sleping with my Bell Bear an Niki's blanket she leved here one tim. Ims callin to them but no body answers me. I try to feel them an I do no feel my Bes Frind but I feels Niki an she is hurtin verry bad. I wans my frinds bak. Where are they? Why they leved me? I don unterstan, sombody help splain this. Niki ples come bak to me. Bes Frind com bak ples. I missns you. An I no you missns me too. Why? Ples.  

-- little "Ellie" Erin

About the Others from the Darkness -- Tommi

There are three alters that we do not really know where they have come from or even who they split from. These three alters are Blissy, Nere, and Stenno. They all seem to have similar physical characteristics which leads us to believe that they have all come from the same place. However, that's mostly speculation, and probably will be changed as we begin to understand them more.

Their common features are their hair which is dark and wavy/curly, their eyes which are nearly black, and their skin tone which is light brown tan (except Nere, who is very pale).

Blissy: The "Perfect" One

This is an approximate image of her. Blissy's hair is actually a bit more curly and she has freckles all across her face.

I personally don't know that much about Blissy, but Ellie (Little Erin) knows more. Ellie used to live with Blissy in the Cleaning Room. She seems to be in her late 30's and adheres to a very strict version of Christianity that is rather frightening. She has taught Ellie all sorts of things; for example: it was Ellie's fault that the man at the playground hurt her.

Blissy is also not timid in saying what she believes about other people. She has called Yomi and Nickie abominations for their relationship. She does not believe that Anthros are sentient beings and often calls us Beasts. Blissy believes that Guilt is demon possessed and that is why she is promiscuous.

Blissy is also one of those people that tries very hard to maintain an image of being perfect. Not only does she maintain this image, but I think she actually believes it herself. She is very self-righteous and says that the Bible and God are on her side.

On one or more occasion, Blissy has tried to force her way out and take over. This was because she believed that Yomi wasn't doing a good enough job. Yomi had to leave a church service because Blissy was making her dizzy and nauseous (Yomi seeing a trigger didn't help either). To date, there have only been two times that Blissy has come out and we have known about it. The first time was when Yomi was attending a Christian university. Yomi was going to sleep and Blissy forced her way out, intending to be in control for a few days. Fortunately, Yomi was the one to wake up in the morning. The second time was when the phone lines were out at the parent's house and there was a lot of cleaning that needed done, so Morrigan allowed Blissy to do some of it. Blissy actually tried calling Nickie to break up with her, but she couldn't, fortunately.

Nere: The Mysterious One

This is an approximate image of Nere. However, Nere's hair is much, much shorter and is very curly.

Nere is an enigma. He/she is both male and female at the same time, which gives him (for the sake of using simple pronouns) a very androgynous look. When I first met Nere back when I first showed up, he would keep a ragged blanket around him like a cloak and would often keep his face covered. After a while, he relaxed around everyone and allowed his face to show.

Yomi often describes Nere as a waif, which is rather accurate. It gives this idea that he is all alone, no one understands him, and he is almost insubstantial. Nere is incredibly thin and tall. When he stands, he is 7-feet tall, yet he can curl up in a tiny ball and ends up looking like a little kid. We don't know how old Nere is, or even if he has an age.

According to Nere, he has been around since the beginning and he knows much of what is happening. I know that he has helped Morrigan and Yomi on occasion when everything was confusing and no one knew what was going on. Nere also can only talk in two word or two syllable phrases, so it takes him a long time to explain what he means. He does not like being out at all and it's partly due to the fact that his eyes are a bit more sensitive to light than everyone else. I think this is why he built himself a place to live inside the Wall.

Nere's Tunnel is a pretty neat construction. He built himself three rooms: a main room and two guest rooms. His main room is where he usually spends most of his time and it is the largest of the three rooms. It's about 9 foot wide and only goes about 5 feet back. The ceiling only is about 4 feet, so you have to crouch or crawl around. The other two rooms are about 6 feet by 3 feet and are meant only for sleeping. I used to sleep in the room on the right. Something could be going on in the Black Room and you'd never know it if you're in one of Nere's rooms. They're quiet and dark.

Stenno: The Grudge Keeper

This is an approximate picture of Stenno. He's a bit more tan than this and sometimes he doesn't have facial hair.

Stenno hasn't been around for very long. He maybe came a week or so before Yomi and Morrigan left. We all knew he was coming, but we didn't know who he was. When he finally showed up in the Black Room, he seemed very sad and mournful (I would compare him to a human Eeyore). Morrigan was afraid that he would try to hurt himself, so she kept him in the White Room to keep tabs on him.

When Stenno saw Yomi, he flew into a rage. He was accusing Yomi of not protecting the Original and he decided to try to punish her in any way possible. It manifested in making Yomi so nauseated that she couldn't eat for a few days for fear that she would be sick. It took Morrigan and I both to push him out of the White Room and lock him out. On the inside, mental strength trumps physical strength every time, and Stenno is very mentally strong. Eventually, I took him to stay with Nere, and that's where he's been ever since as far as I know.

Shortly after all that happened, Yomi and Morrigan disappeared and the storm started in the Black Room. I have no idea how Nere and Stenno have fared through that, but I'm thinking that they're fine because of how protected from noise and stuff the rooms are.

Some interesting notes on Stenno is that he changes ages frequently. I've seen him as young as 15 and as old as 30-ish. Sometimes his age changes right in front of your eyes and he'll age backward or forward. Stenno also has no noticeable accent, but his facial features and whatever would suggest that he is of Hispanic descent.

This is what I know about the Others from the Darkness. I'm sure we will learn more about them eventually. However, we're not really trying to figure that out right now. Blissy is off in her own little world, almost literally, and Nere and Stenno are leaving us alone for the most part. Plus, I have other things I need to worry about, so learning more about them is definitely on the back burner for now.