Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

my birthday -- little ellie erin

today is the day that i was borned. Ims thinkin that it be mor rigt to say that this be the day that the body was borned. Cuz i was no borned like other peple, but october 5 is still my birthday.

this birthday was muchs better than my las one. Wens I stay with Blissy, things were no so nice lik it is now. I know we do no think it is verry nice rigt now cuz of wat all is goin on, but it is still better than wat i used to hav.

today I havs a mommy that lovs me. A daddy that lovs me. My oldest sistr nos I'm in here an she lovs me. I have FRINDS! I hav manys. I do no talks bout them much here cuz i do not no if they is kay with bein on the blog. But I have many frinds who lov me an ask bouts me all the tim. They play with me an we bake cinimimamin rolls an let me eat brown suger. heehee. I hav a frind who is 4 an we color tgether. I hav frinds who is older than Yomi and they play with me too! We playd the game Sorry! las week. I no remembry who winned but it no matter cuz we was havin fun an laffin an smilin an everythin. I liks my lif how it is rigt now.

The way it usd to be with Blissy was no so nice as now. I hads to clean alls the time. No rest. I havs to hear Blissy tells me why Ims such a bad little girl an how everythin was my fault. It was no Riginal Erins fault, it was all mines. She tolds me I was a little demon child who made Riginal Erin go way. So on my birthday she would spank me an tells me I shuld never hav been borns. I kno now that a lots of wat Blissy teached me is verry wrong. Ims still learnin wat is rigt tho. I learnin that it is kay if I needs to take a nap, evin if ims needin to nap out here. It is kay for me to be outs. Ims learnin that Blissy was a mean grown up grouch an i don wan to be like her. Ims wanna be lik me.

I wan to learn to be jus a littl girl gans. Ive forgetted how to play with toy horsies an i needs to learn how gans. I lov to color. I lov to draw. I wan to learn no to be fraids of swings so I can go play on playgrounds gan too. I wan to learn that nobody is gon to hurt me like i hav been hurtd no mor. I wan to learn how to be carful with my heart so I only givs it to peple who will be good to it. I wan to learn how to help peple without gettin hurt. I wan to learn how to do all many things but mos of all I wan to learn to be Little Ellie Erin an nobody else.

Thats wat I wan to do.

-- Little Ellie Erin


  1. Constant cleaning with someone belittling you is certainly twisted. I can see why you don't like Blissy.

    By the way, around March I gave Yomi an early birthday present. It was a copy of the video game Kirby Super Star Ultra for the Nintendo DS (the Kirby that inhales enemies and copies their powers). Did anyone manage to beat the True Arena in that game yet? It's the hard one with 10 rounds and regular tomatoes instead of Maximum Tomatoes.

    As far as getting over your fear of swings and playgrounds, there are psychological techniques available that can help you conquer your fears. Your therapist can probably tell you more.

    Well that's my 20 cents. Until next time.

  2. ims jus startd my own game on kirby las week. I hav no gottn verry far cuz i hav so many thins to play with an do heehee but it is a verry good game for wens we travel. Thank you verry much for givin us the kirby game i likes it a lot.

    I kno i will gets over my fears one day, i jus wishes that day wold com much faster. I kno our T is gon to help me with it cuz ims askd her to an we was startin on som of it wen peple startd comin back. So after thins settl down her an i can work on it gains.

    Thank you.

    -- Little Ellie Erin


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