Read This First

We have moved to a different blog: We Choose Harmony

To see why, read this post: From Internal to External.

But feel free to read this blog for background information.

In October of 2010 Erin was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. This blog is to record what is going inside Erin's mind. We don't know what all that will entail... But we are hoping that keeping a record of it will help in some manner. We also hope that maybe, just maybe, that we'll heal from whatever issues that we have and come out victorious.

All personalities or identities within Erin are invited to write here; each entry will be marked with who is writing.

If you are a survivor yourself, there are no trigger warnings on the entries... Please be careful as you navigate this blog. If you are a significant other of someone with DID/MPD, our hope is that this blog may be of some use to you, but please remember that every person with DID is very unique and must be considered as their own case.

Thank you for visiting!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

About the Black Room -- Yomi

It occurred to me back when I decided to write about all the alters that I ought to write about all the rooms and areas as well. This way you can understand the context in which the alters and I interact. So far, there are five separate rooms: the Black Room, the Room of Requirement, Sierra's House, Jihan's Apartment, and the Cleaning Room. Typically, inside each room there are different areas; some rooms have more areas than others, some have less. Each room is unique and serves its own function.


The Black Room

The Black Room is a dark and empty expanse with a 8-foot wall running through it. At a point along the wall is a cluster of white doors set in a circle. If you can imagine standing in a dark room looking into a doorway to a brightly lit room, this is what the doors look like. However, while the white doors look as if they ought to provide light to the Black Room, they do not.

The wall is dark grey in color and the material is moist and crumbles easily. The wall runs as far as the eye can see in either direction and it is 50-feet or more thick. Nere (also known as the Ragged Figure) tunneled through the wall until he/she had to stop on account of running into a smooth metal plate.

The most distinctive feature about the Black Room are its two different areas. The first area which is within the circle of doors is called the area of light or within the light; it has no specific name. Within this area, visibility is perfectly clear however there is no light source nor are there shadows. In the space between the doors, there is a very distinct separation between the area of light and "the darkness beyond the light," or "the Darkness."

The Darkness is an area that I do not know much about. The one and only time I tried to take a look out there, I was confronted by what I can only call a cloud of intense fear. It was explained later to me by Morrigan that those who belong to the area of light do not go into the Darkness, nor do those who belong to the Darkness venture into the area of light. The only exception to this are those who belong to both; I have not yet found this exception. The alter Thanatos resides far out in the Darkness somewhere past Jihan's Apartment door; Thanatos has never been within the area of light.

Something that is very important in the Black Room is that no one is allowed to bring light (such as a flashlight, candle, or any light producing object) into the Black Room. I do not yet fully understand the reason for this.


Some fun facts about the Black Room

While physical laws such as gravity apply, I have found that I have been able to create objects "from nothing" while there. For example, I created a walky-talky for Little Erin so she can communicate with me without having to leave the Room of Requirement and a cell phone to speak with Morrigan in her room of Sierra's House. I have also created something like a force-field between myself and others in order to protect myself; it's pretty neat.

Something else that has proved to be useful is something like a comm system connecting any of the rooms to the Black Room. This way, if any of us are in the Black Room and need to speak to someone in one of the rooms, we are able to. Or, if any of us are in our respective rooms and need to speak to someone in the Black Room, we also are able. However, this comm system does not run from room to room. Nor can you mute it, so whatever is being said must be heard; this doesn't mean you can't ignore what's being said, but you have to hear it at least.

As I said, things can be made "from nothing" in the Black Room, this includes making other rooms. When Little Erin needed a place to stay that would hide her from Blissy, I created the Room of Requirement (more on that in a different post). I have also seen Guilt create her own door which disappeared behind her; I have no idea where that door led.


Last, but not least, within the Black Room's area of light, every alter has a spot where he or she typically stands, to the point that I can make a diagram. However, as different things happen, we alters change where we stand. Originally, Marie-Shiloh stood near the Wall. After a flashback induced panic attack, she moved into Sierra's House. We do not move places that often, but when we do it seems to be after something big happening.

So far there seems to be only two major shifts in where us alters stand in the Black Room. (This first image does not have white doors because I was not aware of them quite yet.)

I hope to eventually have a blog page with a summery description of each room. On this page, I will try to keep an up to date diagram of what the Black Room's layout.

-- Yomi

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