Maybe -- Morrigan

It's like a tearing loss, when you find out that someone you trusted implicitly is actually a figment of someone else's imagination. To think that someone so good and so true as Logan is just a phantom, a wish, a hope. I guess that's what happens when you begin to face reality. Not the reality that you think you know, but the true reality. The one that is more real than you thought could exist…

I keep demanding to enter that reality, but, in all honesty, it frightens me. The reality I am used to is only a shadow, so how can I anticipate what to expect? Granted, I've been observing, watching, waiting… But still, how can I anticipate how that reality will affect me? I have been preparing myself for that day, but, in the end, how can I know what to expect?

Will I be cold since I won't have fur? How strange will it be to walk among humans instead of Anthros? What will it be like to look in a mirror and not see a familiar face? Will I recognize myself? Will I be able to see me, Morrigan, in the face of a human? A face that is not my own?

What will it be like to be a inch or so taller? Will I have to adjust to a different equilibrium? Is Yomi's body in as good of shape as I am used to my own body being? Will I be able to run, jump, and fight like I am used to?

If I am honest with myself, I don't know what to think about it.

Then again, if I am honest with myself… There are much more important matters to be concerned about. This thing called Anguish… Why is it so overwhelming? Surely it is not just the loss of Logan that causes this. I know that Yomi spoke to me about the Anguish a while back, before I knew the truth about Logan. Surely there is something that was lost to all of us; to Erin. If I only knew what it was, maybe then I could do something about it. Maybe then I wouldn't sit and cry, helpless.

Maybe one day I will master these fears. Maybe one day I can stand on my own. Maybe one day I can face this thing called Reality and come out the victor. Maybe…






-- A note from Nickie, who is posting this on behalf of Yomi and Morrigan --

Morrigan manifested for the 2nd time Yomi (and I) know of at 11:42pm yesterday, December 14th. She stuck around until about 12:30 or so when she got tired and said that Yomi wanted to come back. We talked for a little bit off and on, but her reason for manifesting she said was to write this. When Yomi came back, she said that originally Morrigan had been dictating to her what Morrigan wanted to say, but then somewhere in there Morrigan slipped through the White Door and took over.

-- Nickie